In The Dark

There are things I am scared to admit. Things that happened before... they're kind of just whispering at me in the dark. I can't seem to turn on the switch. I'm still blindly groping around... hoping I hit the lights one day and bring it all out to the surface. I am terrified of what I'm going to see, and what the person has had to pick up the pieces of me from before is going to think. The terror keeps me blind. I think for now I prefer the dark.

my hearts sadness

there is anger and frustrastion and fucking sadness... in my whole life I've never had so much love or lonliness. I think she is a horribly selfish person, a terrible mother and a greedy daughter... yet I miss my sister's friendship. I miss the laughter and times we could talk. I miss my nephew and the love we shared and how he would have dates with me. I am just sad. my heart hurts.